


Well This Is Awkward

by EmeraldDelta



Series: Penumbra WLW Week [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, First Meetings, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Penumbra WLW Week, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, they're in a club and buddy drugs a guard it's not that deep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24362878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldDelta/pseuds/EmeraldDelta
Summary: “Hey, what- ack!” After the sounds of a brief scuffle, the diplomat’s words were cut off with a choke. Just as Buddy was pulling out her comms for any kind of light, the main lights flickered and turned back on.There was another person in the room.Specifically, a woman.More specifically, a green-haired, scowling woman currently choking out a diplomat to Earth.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko/Vespa
Series: Penumbra WLW Week [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759021
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Well This Is Awkward

Let it never be said that Buddy Aurinko couldn’t dazzle a room. From the sleazy bars of the Outer Rim to the swanky parties of the Solar elite, Buddy could charm a Venusian two-headed porcupine if it got her closer to her next paycheck. Right now, though, the target was much less spiny but no less dangerous - a young diplomat from Earth on vacation to a party moon orbiting Saturn. The diplomat xyrself posed no real threat, except maybe to mommy’s credit card bills, but the two bodyguards would be more of a challenge. Luckily, mommy’s credit card was exactly what Buddy was after. After all, if the governor of New New York could afford to keep raising taxes on her poorest citizens, surely she could afford a few of Buddy’s resupply trips.

Buddy held an empty champagne flute loosely in one hand, then stumbled and tripped her way through the crowd to where the diplomat was at the bar enjoying a drink swirling with half a dozen different colors. “‘Scuse me, sorry - oh goodness, darling, terribly sorry,” she slurred apologies and finally reached the bar, using the pressure of the packed nightclub to get closer to the bodyguard than would normally have been allowed. The hulking woman gave Buddy a quick once-over and then went back to scanning the crowd. A professional, then. No matter. Buddy giggled drunkenly and leaned over the bar to wave to one of the bartenders with her not-quite empty champagne glass. On one particularly clumsy wave, she dropped a small, clear capsule from her glass into the glass of water on the bar by the first bodyguard. A rather unfortunate “malfunction” had disabled the air conditioning ten minutes ago and the temperature was already climbing. Buddy saw the sweat beading on the bodyguard and waited. Within a minute, the bodyguard turned and grabbed the water - the capsule fully dissolved, thank the stars - and took several gulps. Excellent. Buddy ordered another drink and pretended to check her comms, dancing in place to the thumping music. Several more minutes passed and then she saw it - the twitch of discomfort in the bodyguard. A hand on the stomach, no doubt rolling with nausea. She turned and signalled to the other bodyguard before making a beeline for the restrooms. Buddy used the motion of the crowd to slide closer and brush against the diplomat.  
“Oh! Aha, I'm so sorry, Mx.-?” Buddy fluttered her eyelashes and pouted just so. 

Xyr eyes widened, first in surprise but then in enchantment. “Ah, my name is Mx. Isodore Naolin.” Xe collected xyrself and offered Buddy a hand to shake, of all things. “And who might you be? It’s not often I get to meet someone so beautiful, I simply must have your name!” 

Buddy took the proffered hand and brought it to her lips, pressing a chaste kiss to xyr knuckles, watching the spreading blush on tan cheeks. “You can call me Lyra Sultan if you like.” 

After that, it was almost too easy to charm her way to a back room, away from the remaining bodyguard, with an eager young diplomat in tow. She was just getting ready to palm xyr wallet when the lights went out.

“Hey, what- ack!” After the sounds of a brief scuffle, the diplomat’s words were cut off with a choke. Just as Buddy was pulling out her comms for any kind of light, the main lights flickered and turned back on. 

There was another person in the room. 

Specifically, a woman. 

More specifically, a green-haired, scowling woman currently choking out a diplomat to Earth. 

“Wait! Stop!” Buddy cried. 

The woman turned the fierce scowl to Buddy and Buddy felt her heart skip a beat. Cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass, dark eyes a woman could get lost in, and wiry muscles to back up the rather serious “don’t fuck with me” vibes. She didn’t loosen the chokehold but she was hesitating and Buddy was eager to get the business out of the way to pursue this... new line of inquiry. 

She swallowed against her suddenly dry throat and drawled, “I’m just after xyr wallet. I don’t care what you do with xem after that.” 

The woman scoffed. “Yeah, right. What, you think I’m gonna let you get close? Why don’t you just buzz off, lady, or else you’re next. Me and Mx. Naolin are goin’ on a little trip and you won’t like the destination.”

Oh Buddy wouldn’t let this woman slip away so easily. “I’ll give you a third of my cut if you like, in return for your timely help. Like I said, I couldn’t care less what you do with xem, I’d just like what I came here for, darling.” 

This gave the woman pause, but then she growled and deftly wrestled the diplomat to the ground. She held xyr hands in one of hers as xe snivelled. She found the wallet and tossed it to Buddy, who caught it with ease. A few keystrokes later and Buddy was a significantly richer woman. She looked back at the woman and held up her comms. 

“I’ll need a name for the transfer, darling.” 

The woman huffed and scowled but eventually muttered, “Ilkay. Vespa Ilkay.” 

Vespa. The name swept through Buddy’s mind like a sandstorm. She wouldn’t forget that name any time soon. She transferred the credits with no problem, attaching her personal contact details as a note. Buddy gave Vespa a slow onceover and smiled like a cat that just got the cream. “Well, Vespa, darling, once you’re done with this little kidnapping, feel free to get in touch if you need another job. I have a feeling we could do great things together, and my intuition is never wrong.” She turned and sashayed to the door, savoring the matching looks of confusion on Vespa and the diplomat’s faces. 

Just as she reached the door, Vespa called out, “Wait, what’s your name?”

Buddy tossed a smoldering look over her shoulder just to watch Vespa’s eyes widen. 

“You can call me Buddy.”

**Author's Note:**

> I stayed up late just to finish this quick contribution to the Penumbra WLW Week! Who knows, maybe I'll even finish some more prompts before the week ends. 
> 
> We're going to pretend that 8,000 years in the future all you need is a name to transfer money because I said so.


End file.
